Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.