things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??