is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend