did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
