In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
