its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
