It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
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