He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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