Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
