wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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