I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
