Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
