In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Randomize