I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
