I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
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