I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
