I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
