i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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