Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
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