It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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