i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
