I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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