How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
