What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Randomize
