It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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