So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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