I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize
