haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
