shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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