how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I'm both gender and math confused
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
