I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
