last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Randomize
