There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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