dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Randomize
