barbara walters just said penis...
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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