Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
