is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
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