The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
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