I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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