I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Randomize