i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
