he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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