i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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