8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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