he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
