Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
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