Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
