I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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