I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
this is an emotional support booty call
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
