I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Randomize
