you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize