I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
The Olympian is in my bed
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
