just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
