I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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