this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
