I feel like I'm in dance class right now
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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