One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
