I just saw a hot homeless man
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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