The brown eye won't let me do that either.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
