honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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