we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
