Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
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