I wanna bring you to show and tell
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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