Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
