explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
