I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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