don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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